Restaurants

Restaurants - E: kensington@myvillage.co.uk
What does your drink say about you? 10/08/01
Seven bartenders were asked if they could identify personality on what drinks were chosen. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. Here are the results...
If women drink:

Drink: Beer.
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender drinks with umbrella.
Personality : Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has absolutely no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.

Drink: Baileys.
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

Drink: Shorts (Vodka, Aftershock etc.).
Personality: Hanging with male pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.

 
If men drink:
Cider: He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

Cheap Domestic Beer: He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

Premium Local Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Bitter: He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid

Guinness: The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

Vodka or Brandy: Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

Port: Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

Whisky: He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

Jack Daniels: Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.)to weasel himself into getting laid.

Tequila: Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc: He's gay (Blatantly).

Agree? Disagree?
What's your drink of choice?
Email us michelle@myvillage.co.uk

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